Days of Thunder
NOTE: I may, or may not have greatly exagerated various parts of the follwing post...
I worked 10:30-4 today. At one point during the day a guy came in and told me that an older man in a maroon van outside wanted someone to bring him one of the motorized carts we have. I walked over to the only one left and turned the handle (it kind of works like a motorcycle) to try and move it forward. I had never actually touched one of these carts before so I fliped some swtiches and turned more handles for another minute or so before going to get help. I told Sarah, one of the managers, that I was trying to walk the cart outside to take to an elderly gentleman who needed it, and demonstrated that I couldnt get it to move. The laughed, flipped some switch with a light on it, and said that it was weight sensative and that I had to ride it out. Like I said previously, I was going to walk it out, as being an able-bodied guy I would feel really wierd riding it around. Sure enough, I sat down, the light on the switch turned greed, and with a flick of my wrist I thrust foward a few inches.
I put my feet up and began making my way out of the store. The cart doesn't go very fast, but it is a pretty smooth ride. I also noticed that the seat was unusually comfortable. As I headed out into the entranceway I noticed an old man back and to my left also coming outside atop the only other motorized cart we have. I drove my cart out to the sidewalk and had to stop and wait for traffic to pass. While I was waiting, the old man in the other cart pulled up right beside me. Now I felt really wierd. I looked over and nodded the old man, but he just kind of looked at me. It was at this time the cars had passed and I accelerated foward to cross the road diagonally and into the parking lot. The old man began to accelerate a split second after I did, still more or less beside me. It is at this time that I should point out that these things are VERY slow. I could have walked across the road faster. With my pants around my ankles.
As I crossed the road I was still thinking of how I nodded politely at the old man and smiled, and how he didnt acknowledge me at all. And how he pulled right up beside me instead of behind me... About his time I notice the old man is gaining on me. Now, I hadn't orginally intended to race him, but by this time instinct had kicked in.
I steered my cart left, tightening up on the old man to hopefully discourage him from continuing to gain on my inside. He kept coming until he was almost even with me, and eventually nosed ahead. It was apparent that the old man was packing more horsepower than I, and wasn't afraid to use it. I closed the gap between us even more but the old man still never let off the throttle. And with his apprent performance advantage, why should he? If I didn't act fast he was going to complete the pass. At about two-thirds of the way across the road there was a turn coming up. We would both need to round a curb set up to separate the road from the parking lot. It was time to see how my cart would handle.
The old man had about a half foot advantage on me as we approached the turn. About a foot and a half separated our machines and the old man seemed setup to take the apex of the corner perfectly. At an age of at least 80 I'm sure he's been racing these motorized carts for awhile now and it certainly showed. It was to be the classic scenario of the rookie and the veteran. My only chance was to take away his line. Utilizing a technique taught to me by my Father at Motor World during the summer of '98, I pulled over even closer--about a foot off of him. As we appraoched the corner at full speed it was clear he wouldn't have room to navigate between my cart and the curb at an optimum angle.At the last second I pulled high to give him the proper room, but too late to corner properly. I glanced quickly back and to my left
to notice that my manuever was going to allow me to clear the old man's machine! I turned hard left and took a late apex against the curb and left him in my dust. I had won!
Arriving at my destination a few seconds later I relinquished it to the other old man. "That's good, that's good," he told me. Good alright. Damn good. I hopped off and walked back to work a champion.
I worked 10:30-4 today. At one point during the day a guy came in and told me that an older man in a maroon van outside wanted someone to bring him one of the motorized carts we have. I walked over to the only one left and turned the handle (it kind of works like a motorcycle) to try and move it forward. I had never actually touched one of these carts before so I fliped some swtiches and turned more handles for another minute or so before going to get help. I told Sarah, one of the managers, that I was trying to walk the cart outside to take to an elderly gentleman who needed it, and demonstrated that I couldnt get it to move. The laughed, flipped some switch with a light on it, and said that it was weight sensative and that I had to ride it out. Like I said previously, I was going to walk it out, as being an able-bodied guy I would feel really wierd riding it around. Sure enough, I sat down, the light on the switch turned greed, and with a flick of my wrist I thrust foward a few inches.
I put my feet up and began making my way out of the store. The cart doesn't go very fast, but it is a pretty smooth ride. I also noticed that the seat was unusually comfortable. As I headed out into the entranceway I noticed an old man back and to my left also coming outside atop the only other motorized cart we have. I drove my cart out to the sidewalk and had to stop and wait for traffic to pass. While I was waiting, the old man in the other cart pulled up right beside me. Now I felt really wierd. I looked over and nodded the old man, but he just kind of looked at me. It was at this time the cars had passed and I accelerated foward to cross the road diagonally and into the parking lot. The old man began to accelerate a split second after I did, still more or less beside me. It is at this time that I should point out that these things are VERY slow. I could have walked across the road faster. With my pants around my ankles.
As I crossed the road I was still thinking of how I nodded politely at the old man and smiled, and how he didnt acknowledge me at all. And how he pulled right up beside me instead of behind me... About his time I notice the old man is gaining on me. Now, I hadn't orginally intended to race him, but by this time instinct had kicked in.
I steered my cart left, tightening up on the old man to hopefully discourage him from continuing to gain on my inside. He kept coming until he was almost even with me, and eventually nosed ahead. It was apparent that the old man was packing more horsepower than I, and wasn't afraid to use it. I closed the gap between us even more but the old man still never let off the throttle. And with his apprent performance advantage, why should he? If I didn't act fast he was going to complete the pass. At about two-thirds of the way across the road there was a turn coming up. We would both need to round a curb set up to separate the road from the parking lot. It was time to see how my cart would handle.
The old man had about a half foot advantage on me as we approached the turn. About a foot and a half separated our machines and the old man seemed setup to take the apex of the corner perfectly. At an age of at least 80 I'm sure he's been racing these motorized carts for awhile now and it certainly showed. It was to be the classic scenario of the rookie and the veteran. My only chance was to take away his line. Utilizing a technique taught to me by my Father at Motor World during the summer of '98, I pulled over even closer--about a foot off of him. As we appraoched the corner at full speed it was clear he wouldn't have room to navigate between my cart and the curb at an optimum angle.At the last second I pulled high to give him the proper room, but too late to corner properly. I glanced quickly back and to my left
to notice that my manuever was going to allow me to clear the old man's machine! I turned hard left and took a late apex against the curb and left him in my dust. I had won!
Arriving at my destination a few seconds later I relinquished it to the other old man. "That's good, that's good," he told me. Good alright. Damn good. I hopped off and walked back to work a champion.
posted by James at 6:07 PM
2 Comments:
That is without a doubt the GREATEST story I have EVER heard....
-Jeremy
I laughed my ass off as I read this. Greatest post you've ever made.
-Matt-
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