Hello update...
Love.
No other word can have such negative and positive implications, over such a short period of time.
Haven't updated in a LONG time. The cable has been off (including the internet) for awhile now. Should be back on by the end of the month. As a result, updates have been non-exsitant. Ironiclly, this internet-less period has turned out to be one of the most tulmutuous times of my entire life. During this time, I made a ton of offline entries on my computer, vowing to post them at the first opportunity. I've deleted all of those now...some of them angry and spiteful, some of them optimistic and hopefull, some of them downright depressed. This is the only entry that matters now. Funny how things work out...my first chance to put anything on here is on Erin's laptop, which she left for me to play the Sims 2 on, and to root some viruses off of.
I'm not even going to try to document everything that's happened in the last month or so. I don't need to. Maria's gone. I had some pretty negative things to put in here, about her. Lots of them. People talk... By this point I almost just feel sorry for her. She lies. To me. To her friends. To the person she's with now. She lies to everyone she comes in contact with. About stupid stuff. About not-so-stupid stuff. But...she's gone now, and it didn't take me very long to realize that I was, in fact, better for it. But somehow, before she did leave I was too blind to see that. Even with what I knew she was doing. I overheard Gloria, a girl at work, tell somebody one day, "Love makes you stupid--you don't believe things that you should." That was me. And that's about all there is to say about that.
The day she left one of the first things I did was call Garrett. We had already patched things up between us online, but I hadn't got to hang out with him on account of Maria being fiercely against it. Ironiclly enough I run into him at EB the next day. I wasn't really in great spirits yet, but in our hanging out he happened to mention a friend of Tessa's who's boyfriend had just dumped her and who was really cool. I trust Garrett's judgement, so I was up for the idea. I come home from work one day a week later and him, Tessa and the girl, Erin, are all there. We're introduced, and we all socialized for a few hours. I didn't really get to talk to her much, but she was definately cute and seemed cool enough. She had a BB gun, lol... We all agreed we would go see Sin City this past Saturday night. So Saturday came and we went to the movie, and things went good. I still didn't get a chance to really talk to her one-on-one like I wanted to... After the movie we all came back here, where I showed her the Happy Tree Friends, lol. Garrett and Tessa left for her house and luckily...Erin decided to stay for a little while =). She seemed so genuine. And so eager to listen to anything I had to say...it was really very nice. In conversation I mentioned that Punch Drunk Love was my favorite movie ever, and we agreed to watch it. She curled up in my lap. The movie played. We talked. Over the course of those 2 hours, my recent ideas on love in general managed to make a 180-degree turn. We fell asleep on the couch that night, the both of us.
So this is what I wanted to post. None of the other stuff I had wrote matters now. The past is the past, and this is now. And now...is good.
I've got some things to do. I'll likely post again later tonight, or in the morning.
Daisuke: "It's not easy for a man to be courageous when he doesn't want to be."
J: "Yes. But he doesn't always have a choice."
No other word can have such negative and positive implications, over such a short period of time.
Haven't updated in a LONG time. The cable has been off (including the internet) for awhile now. Should be back on by the end of the month. As a result, updates have been non-exsitant. Ironiclly, this internet-less period has turned out to be one of the most tulmutuous times of my entire life. During this time, I made a ton of offline entries on my computer, vowing to post them at the first opportunity. I've deleted all of those now...some of them angry and spiteful, some of them optimistic and hopefull, some of them downright depressed. This is the only entry that matters now. Funny how things work out...my first chance to put anything on here is on Erin's laptop, which she left for me to play the Sims 2 on, and to root some viruses off of.
I'm not even going to try to document everything that's happened in the last month or so. I don't need to. Maria's gone. I had some pretty negative things to put in here, about her. Lots of them. People talk... By this point I almost just feel sorry for her. She lies. To me. To her friends. To the person she's with now. She lies to everyone she comes in contact with. About stupid stuff. About not-so-stupid stuff. But...she's gone now, and it didn't take me very long to realize that I was, in fact, better for it. But somehow, before she did leave I was too blind to see that. Even with what I knew she was doing. I overheard Gloria, a girl at work, tell somebody one day, "Love makes you stupid--you don't believe things that you should." That was me. And that's about all there is to say about that.
The day she left one of the first things I did was call Garrett. We had already patched things up between us online, but I hadn't got to hang out with him on account of Maria being fiercely against it. Ironiclly enough I run into him at EB the next day. I wasn't really in great spirits yet, but in our hanging out he happened to mention a friend of Tessa's who's boyfriend had just dumped her and who was really cool. I trust Garrett's judgement, so I was up for the idea. I come home from work one day a week later and him, Tessa and the girl, Erin, are all there. We're introduced, and we all socialized for a few hours. I didn't really get to talk to her much, but she was definately cute and seemed cool enough. She had a BB gun, lol... We all agreed we would go see Sin City this past Saturday night. So Saturday came and we went to the movie, and things went good. I still didn't get a chance to really talk to her one-on-one like I wanted to... After the movie we all came back here, where I showed her the Happy Tree Friends, lol. Garrett and Tessa left for her house and luckily...Erin decided to stay for a little while =). She seemed so genuine. And so eager to listen to anything I had to say...it was really very nice. In conversation I mentioned that Punch Drunk Love was my favorite movie ever, and we agreed to watch it. She curled up in my lap. The movie played. We talked. Over the course of those 2 hours, my recent ideas on love in general managed to make a 180-degree turn. We fell asleep on the couch that night, the both of us.
So this is what I wanted to post. None of the other stuff I had wrote matters now. The past is the past, and this is now. And now...is good.
I've got some things to do. I'll likely post again later tonight, or in the morning.
Daisuke: "It's not easy for a man to be courageous when he doesn't want to be."
J: "Yes. But he doesn't always have a choice."
posted by James at 12:52 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home